Why I Started Dating Myself (And Why You Should Too)

There was a time not too long ago when the idea of sitting in a restaurant alone terrified me. I’d scroll endlessly on my phone, avoiding eye contact, just waiting for my food to arrive so I could escape. But over the last few years, I’ve found that shifting my perspective on solitude has been life-changing. I realized that I am the person I’m going to spend the rest of my life with, so shouldn’t I make an effort to woo myself?

Enter the "romantic solo date." This isn’t just about running errands alone; it’s about intention. It’s about dressing up, putting the phone away, and treating your time with the same respect you’d give a partner. In my experience, when you start prioritizing these moments, you stop seeking validation from external sources and start feeling whole on your own. If you feel like you’re constantly running on empty, you might want to check out The Dark Side of Hustle Culture: Why Rest is Actually Productive to understand why slowing down is so vital.

Here are 15 ways to romance yourself and reconnect with your soul.

The Art of the "Sit-Down" Experience

Dining alone is an art form. It teaches you to be comfortable in your own skin in a public space. I used to worry that people were staring at me, but here’s the truth: everyone is too focused on their own lives to notice yours.

  1. The Fancy Dinner for One: Pick that restaurant you’ve been dying to try but never found an occasion for. Make a reservation. Wear your favorite outfit. Order a three-course meal and a glass of wine. I’ve found that savoring each bite without the pressure of making conversation allows you to truly taste the food.
  2. The Long Coffee Date: Go to a cozy café, grab a latte and a pastry, and bring a physical book or journal. No podcasts, no phones. Just you and your thoughts. It’s amazing how creative you get when you’re bored for ten minutes.
  3. Solo Brunch: Weekend brunches are usually chaotic, but going solo turns it into a luxury people-watching session. Sit at the bar or a small table, enjoy the buzz of the crowd, and sip a mimosa while reading the paper.

Cultivating Culture and Creativity

When we go to museums or galleries with friends, we often feel the need to chat or move at the group's pace. Going alone allows you to linger exactly where you want. Also, it’s the perfect excuse to dress a bit more creatively. In fact, this was a turning point for me regarding my wardrobe; I realized I was dressing for others rather than for myself. This aligns perfectly with my philosophy in Why I Stopped Following Trends and Started Investing in Basics—sometimes simple, classic choices make you feel the most confident.

  • Be Your Own Museum Guide: Spend an afternoon at a local art museum. Don't read every single plaque. Just wander and find the pieces that make you stop in your tracks.
  • The Cinema Date: Go to a movie matinee. Buy the overpriced popcorn. Seeing a drama or an indie film alone is often a more immersive experience because you can emotionally react without wondering if the person next to you is bored.
  • Bookstore Browsing: Set a timer for an hour. Go to a bookstore, touch the spines, read the first pages of random books, and buy one that speaks to you. Then go sit in a park and read the first chapter.

Reconnecting with Nature

There is something inherently romantic about fresh air and open spaces. Nature doesn’t ask you to be anything; it just lets you be. In my experience, spending time outside is the quickest way to lower cortisol levels and remember that your problems are smaller than the sky.

  • The Sunset Picnic: Pack a basket with your favorite snacks, a nice blanket, and a thermos of tea or wine. Drive to a viewpoint or a beach just to watch the sun go down. It’s cheesy, but it feels magical.
  • A "Forest Bathing" Walk: This isn't a hike for cardio. It’s a slow walk where you touch the bark of trees, smell the pine, and listen to the birds. It’s about presence, not fitness.
  • Visit a Botanical Garden: Surrounding yourself with flowers is an instant mood booster. Bring a camera and try to photograph the intricate details of a single bloom.

Adventures Near and Far

Sometimes you need to physically move your body to a new location to shift your mindset. Adventure doesn’t have to mean backpacking through a jungle; it can just mean breaking your routine. If you have the time and budget, a solo trip is the ultimate act of self-love. I’ve been looking at 7 Underrated European Cities You Need to Visit This Summer for inspiration on where to escape to next.

  1. Staycation in Your City: Book a hotel room or a cute Airbnb in a different neighborhood for one night. Wake up somewhere new, explore the local streets, and order room service breakfast.
  2. The Solo Road Trip: Pick a destination 2-3 hours away. Blast the music you love but usually compromise on for others. Roll the windows down and sing. The freedom is intoxicating.
  3. Day Trip to a Nearby Town: Take a train or a bus to a town you’ve never visited. Wander the main street, pop into antique shops, and grab lunch at a diner.

The Art of Doing Nothing (and Pampering)

Finally, romance yourself through comfort. We often feel guilty for just "being," but rest is productive. I’ve found that scheduling pampering like an official appointment forces me to actually pause.

  • The Spa Day: Get a massage or a facial. Lay in the sauna until you can’t take the heat anymore. Let someone take care of you physically for an hour.
  • The "No-Technology" Bath: Lock the bathroom door. Light candles. Put on soothing music. Take a long bath with a book or just your thoughts. No scrolling.
  • Flowers for Yourself: Walk to a florist, buy a beautiful bouquet, and arrange them in a vase yourself. It’s a small act of domestic joy that brightens up an entire room.

Embrace the Romance

The goal of these dates isn’t to fill a void; it’s to celebrate your own company. Start small this week. Maybe just take yourself out for coffee. Wear something that makes you feel amazing. Treat yourself with the kindness you would show a lover. You might be surprised at how much you enjoy your own company.